you were supposed to delete this..

i don't know if i should be writing
this but i'm not allowed to play piano
so i express the frustrations this way instead...
i don't know if i'm turning into
you or becoming the absolute
opposite. right now, i think you're
an arrogant know-it-all chum who
always thinks he's right and presumes too much.
there isn't a fraction of a listening ear in you...
its filled with apathy.
no time for stories, no time for chit-chat. should it all be
scheduled to fit your convenience?
whatever happened to stepping out
of your way for the sake of another?
joy should never be scheduled and squashed
into a block of a time
table. you aren't even an expressionless brick wall
that people like to scream at for their therapy.
you're a banker, a financer, a noble man.
you should be more than...time is approaching
when I'll be long long gone...
but that won't matter,
you'll be unburdened by a riddance.
this is my insecurity...thinking i give you shame. I probably do.
this is my frustration...knowing your presumptions of me that aren't true..
..your ignorance and apathy.
but thank you, for the freedom I have gained from it.
and forgive me, for doing the same.
screw this bullshit letter, take no word of it in offense and delete it.
everything's untrue. its an emotion that's not allowed to be heard.
let life go on in this crowded lonely house.



PH-MNL-MON-11-12-2001-11-42-PM